Includes bibliographical references.; The three commandments -- Solid, liquid, or gas? -- You are an egg -- Keeping your cash from turning into trash -- Guarantees are not all they're cracked up to be -- Fixing your fixed income -- Stocks for the wrong run -- Rules for stock investors to live by -- Little things mean a lot -- How to get your kids through college without going broke -- What makes ultra ETFs mega-dangerous -- Hedge fund hooey -- Commodity claptrap -- Spicy food does not equal hot returns -- WACronyms: why initials are so often the beginning of the end -- Sex -- Mind control -- Financial planning fakery -- Advice on advice -- Fraudian psychology -- The terrible tale of the missing $10 trillion -- How to talk back to market baloney.;